If you are visiting an elderly family member while on vacation, pay attention to changes in their lifestyle. Small changes in the way they live and behave can be signals that help is needed. This is especially true when you see signs that they are losing the ability to care for themselves. Too often family members shrug off these signs until a crisis occurs – like an emergency trip to the hospital.

Watch for these early warning signs that indicate care is needed:
• Stacks of unopened mail and bills.
• Not taking medications properly.
• Difficulty preparing meals.
• Change in appearance, looking unkempt.
• Unsafe driving.

Many people are surprised that a stack of unopened mail is a warning sign. For most of us, sorting through the mail and paying bills is something we do easily. This is because our “executive function” is not impaired. Executive function is the part of our mental processing that provides us with our ability to plan and schedule activities, especially as circumstances change. Many older adults develop difficulties with their executive functioning as they advance in years. This makes sorting through the mail, paying bills on time, and managing their chequebook an extremely difficult, if not impossible task. It is often the first sign that something is not right.

Occasionally we have an older client who comes to our office at tax time with their records in disarray. In prior years they may have been very organized and on top of their finances. Now they cannot seem to get things together. Over the next few years, we watch as this client struggles to remain independent. If you see any of the warning signs above, here are some things to consider: Start a conversation with the person. Share your feelings of concern. Ask questions in a kind way, not as an interrogation. Ask as many questions as needed to get a clear picture of their situation.

Older adults often need help in more than one area. Help the older adult maintain as much control as possible. Make the smallest adjustments necessary to help them maintain safety and independence. Fear of loss of independence can derail the best plans.

Start educating yourself. If your care-giving responsibilities increase, you will need to know about the person’s medical, legal and financial situation. You will also need to know what resources and services are available to help. The Internet is a great source of information.

Consider hiring help. Whether it is help with managing the cheque book or assisting with house cleaning, a little help can work wonders for both the older person and their family caregivers.

The holidays are a great time for families to share in good times. It is also a great time to watch out
for our older family members.